I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
