if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So much rum. So many feels.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
