so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
