When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize