there was a trapeze. enough said
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
