I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
is this the sara with the beer cane?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize