Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
