Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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