everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
