Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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