so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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