In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
