Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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