just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
