yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
