i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
