Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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