when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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