also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Who died my cat blue again?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
