dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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