The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
