so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
