the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
