Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
