'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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