i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
