I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
it's like heaven, but drunker
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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