brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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