For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
