i don't like sucking hair
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
