she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
