youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
