he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
