Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
