Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize