come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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