im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
