Nicole vs. Life
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
3pm strippers are depressing
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
