my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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