just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
