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His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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