what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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