This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
