Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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