Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
