Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
