okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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