apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
