I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
