I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
