im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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