Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
