just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
