Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We were destined to go to rehab together
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize