Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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