My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My ass is underappreciated
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
