Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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