Im at strip club and am horny
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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