Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
