my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
now i know why i became what i already was.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
