Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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