Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize