So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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